Coach Threatens to Move Team if New Stadium Not Built

AKRON - University of Akron football coach JD Brookhart is threatening to move the team if a new stadium is not built. The team has played in the decrepit Rubber Bowl for decades and is disappointed it does not earn as much game day revenue as teams with flashier homes. Brookhart is demanding a new stadium from the university and the city of Akron.

The Zips would like to improve its national standing and are prepared to move to a new university if that is what it takes. The UA Zips are a NCAA division I team and play in the Mid America Conference, a non-BCS league. Brookhart has heard from several schools interested in hosting the team. He wants a new stadium with at least 30,000 seats, any plenty of revenue creating amenities like luxury boxes and gourmet concession stands.

Meanwhile, officials in Akron continue to react to Brookhart's demand. "Does he [Brookhart] think the city is made of money? They can leave for all I care. We will still have the Aeros [Akron's minor league baseball team]," Akron mayor Don Plusquellic commented yesterday by phone.

Entertainment Update

Real Men of Genius begins filming next month

The Real Men of Genius movie will start filming in mid September at Paramount Studios. Robert Zemeckis will direct, with Edward Norton as Mr. Jean Shorts Inventor, Ben Affleck as Mr. SUV Super Stretch Limo Maker, and Laurence Fishburne as Mr. Over Zealous Foul Ball Catcher. James Gandolfini will also appear as Mr. Doggy Day Spa Operator. Plot and Setting are as yet unknown. The expected release date is summer of 2008.

Underwater to be first title from Gore/Jenkins

The first book from the Al Gore and Jerry Jenkins collaboration will be titled Underwater. It will be the first in an expected 12 book series of end-of-the-world novels. Both men are busy writing and expect to finish soon.

Budweiser, Paramount Sign Movie Deal

ST. LOUIS - Anheuser-Busch and Paramount Pictures have agreed to work together to produce films based on AB's popular Budweiser and Bud Light advertisements. Anhueser- Busch, maker of Budweiser and Bud Light beers, will bring its characters and scenarios to Paramount, the country's oldest running studio.

Paramount representative Kevin Mayernick states "Bud is almost as well known for its iconic advertisements as it is for its beer. We love adapting existing media properties to the cinema because the pre-existing fan base provides a ready audience. I have noticed how revelers at my Super Bowl parties talk during the game but hush each other during the breaks to catch all the details of the Budweiser ads."

"We have a slew of ads in our portfolio that will make great sources for movies: the swamp frogs and their friends, the Wazzzzup guys, Real Men of Genius and, of course, the Clydesdale horses," states AB CEO August Busch IV. "The first film will be based on the Real Men of Genius ads. We do not have any plots, but we have great characters like Mister Jeans Shorts Inventor, Mister SUV Super Stretch Limo Maker and Mister Over Zealous Foul Ball Catcher. Throw these guys together and a fun movie will result."

Not all are pleased by this agreement. Noted film and culture critic Matthias Shapiro said "These productions should continue the downhill cultural slide. At one time, novels and stage plays were adapted for film. Then, we went to adaptations of television serials and comic books to adaptations of three minute Saturday Night Live skits, and now, to adaptations of 30 second TV ads."