Gore, Jenkins to Team Up for Novels

NEW YORK - Al Gore and Jerry Jenkins will collaborate on a series of novels which will tell of the coming destruction of Earth by environmental catastrophe. Viking Press will publish the books.

Mr. Gore, a former Vice President, has made a name for himself advocating environmental causes. He is featured in the movie An Inconvenient Truth which warned viewers of the dangers of man-made climate change. The film won an Oscar for Best Documentary earlier this year.

Mr. Jenkins co-wrote the Left Behind series of novels with Tim LaHaye. The Left Behind series included twelve books which gave a fictional telling of the end of the world from a Christian dispensationalist, premillennial position.

The two men are thought to be a great combination. "Jerry is a professional novelist with terrific sales numbers in the end-of-the-world fiction genre and Al is well known as an authority on climate change," said Brian Simpson, spokesman for Viking. "The combo of Jerry's plotting and Al's environmental knowledge will create very entertaining and informative reading."

1st Wal-Mart Chevrolet to Open

BENTONVILLE, AR - Wal-Mart Stores will begin selling new cars for the first time next month. The announcement came after Wal-Mart finalized the purchase of Gabe Johnson Chevrolet, a Pittsburgh area dealer. Wal-Mart will integrate Gabe Johnson's 4 locations into 4 nearby Wal-Mart stores, said H. Lee Scott, Wal-Mart CEO, in a press conference this morning.

The stores will have additions built on to handle the new business. Unlike traditional dealerships which negotiate prices with customers, the new Wal-Mart Chevrolet will set a low, fixed prices on all cars. Wal-Mart Chevrolet will not sell used cars or accept trade-ins.

Wal-Mart hopes to achieve lower retail prices than other dealers by using its size and purchasing power to get lower wholesale prices from GM. Pat Yurick, an analyst from Goldman Sachs, believes Wal-Mart can be expected to treat General Motors, the maker of Chevrolet, just as it treats all its suppliers. "In maybe a year, two at most, expect Wal-Mart to start dictating to GM exterior and interior colors, styling, even engine size."

"We are very excited to enter the automotive retail market and guarantee to bring our everyday low prices to Chevrolet cars and trucks," Lee said.

GM has yet to comment.

The Rolling Stones Retire to Branson

BRANSON, MO - The Rolling Stones today made an announcement they will retire and move to Branson after their A Bigger Bang Tour ends. The Stones plan to build a theater here and perform for the crowds that gather in Branson for entertainment. The Rolling Stones Theater will stand on Highway 76, known here as "The Strip."

Band members claim the years have caught up to them and they are ready for retirement. "We are itching to quit the road for good but still want to perform for our fans. A permanent stage will be great," stated band leader Mick Jagger. Keith Richards added "as our fan base ages, they are not quite up to the Altamont Speedway experience. Branson provides the kind of environment we need."

Yakov Smirnoff, a Branson veteran, welcomes The Stones, "I cannot wait to see a Stones show." Branson Visitor's Bureau president Tim McIver says "this band will increase musical diversity in Branson. We have plenty of country and pop, but lack the R&B and rock sounds the Stones will provide."